The opposite day, Jenny and I went to a cookbook launch social gathering at our buddy Odette’s house. (She’s the mastermind behind Easy Cake and the brand new Easy Pasta.)

We stood in her kitchen and drank Prosecco and ate pasta salad and chatted about infants and work and films and fantasy holidays to Italy. After a pair hours, it was time for me to go residence for the boys’ bedtime, so I turned to Jenny. “Okay, let’s slip out behind the kitchen island,” I stated, noting Odette’s place on the opposite facet of the room.

Jenny checked out me quizzically. “However we’ve got to say goodbye.”

Oh, proper, I believed, I forgot that not everybody ghosts after events. In the meantime, I’ve been fortunately ghosting for the previous decade. It began 10 years in the past, when Alex and I threw a giant vacation social gathering. Fifty buddies squeezed into our tiny house, and everybody was having a good time till one thing began occurring.

As I wrote again then: “For your complete second half of the social gathering, buddies saved coming as much as say goodbye and want us a cheerful rest-of-the-weekend. I turned to Alex, perplexed, and requested, ‘Why is everybody leaving?’ And he identified that dozens of individuals have been nonetheless there; it simply felt like a mass exodus as a result of we have been consumed with saying goodbye to each single one who was heading residence. It felt just like the social gathering was already over. The following morning, Alex and I decided: We’d by no means say goodbye to the hosts of events. We’d merely slip out the door.”

At Odette’s social gathering, Jenny remained shocked after listening to my rationalization — “that is the primary time we’ve disagreed!” she laughed — and he or she headed over to offer Odette a hug. In the meantime, I sneaked out the door and despatched Odette a glowing thank-you textual content on the stroll residence (plus just a few social gathering anecdotes, only for enjoyable).

“Goodbyes are, by their very nature, no less than a light bummer,” wrote Seth Stevenson, who additionally encourages folks to go away events with out saying goodbye. What if your mates marvel the place you’ve gone? “That is key,” he says, “They most likely received’t even discover that you just’ve left.”

Would you do that? Do you already? Or do you suppose it’s impolite? Are you crew Joanna or Jenny? We’re so curious to listen to your ideas!!! (This headline made me chortle.)

P.S. A enjoyable host reward, and the restaurant shock I’m nonetheless pondering of three many years later.

(Photographs by Graydon Herriott for Easy Pasta. Ghosting illustration by Wendy MacNaughton and Caroline Paul.)